On almost every subject you care to choose, you will find people with differing viewpoints. Peoples’ viewpoints are moulded by their life experiences; how their siblings treated them. How their parents treated them, how their schoolmates treated them, how their teachers treated them, how they are treated in the work place, what they have read and what they have studied. Some have loving parents, some have abusive parents, some are over-indulged and others deprived. Each individual views life in their own unique manner and responds differently in their own unique manner, moulded by the kaleidoscope of personal experience.
If you talk to anyone with strong views about what they are doing, a social worker or a missionary for instance, and ask them what motivates them, what influenced their choice of occupations, they will invariably relate certain experiences, which affected them greatly and were a deciding factor in their decision to follow their vocation. As stated above, we are all moulded by our environment.
Of course you will find differing viewpoints in every walk of life but the political and religious arenas provide good examples of disparate viewpoints, where some heated arguments are common place, with each antagonist very overtly and forcefully expressing their own rightness and invariably with no change to the others’ opinions.
The frequently used expression, ‘your attitude to life is coloured by your experiences’ is not only very true, but very appropriate, and in fact was the genus of what follows. If you hypothetically represent each person’s experiences in life with tinted glasses, each would wear different coloured glasses, representing the way in which each individual has been moulded by life. For example if you imagine four people, one could have red tinted glasses, one green, one blue and one orange.
Put those four people in a room and instigate a 'discussion' on a subject that each holds strong views on. Each will expound their own viewpoint on the subject and if they are of argumentative nature a heated discussion will ensue, for each person is convinced that they are right; their experiences in life tell them they are right. To illustrate the situation, imagine there is a white plaster plaque on the wall, which represents the subject under discussion. Now ask each of the four the colour of the plaque and you will naturally get four different answers. One sees it as red, one sees it as blue, one sees it as green and one sees it as orange, for they all view the subject through different coloured glasses and each KNOWS they are right. Imagine the reaction when the person with red tinted glasses, quite rightly insists that the plaque is red, when the other three see it as either, green, blue or orange. Therein above lies the genus of every argument you have ever had. YOU KNEW YOU WERE RIGHT! Unfortunately, THE OTHER PERSON ALSO KNEW THEY WERE RIGHT!
Each is seeing life differently. For each individual, life is as they see it and therefore, that for them is the truth. If you can make this concept your own, in other words, accept the ‘truth’ of it for yourself, not just because I say so, you will never again engage in the most fruitless of activities, arguing, debate maybe, but arguments never. I can assure you that the quickest way to stop an argument is to say, You are right of course! You will get some interesting responses but once again, by repeating, Yes, you are right of course all arguments will peter out there and then, for your opponents will think you agree with them, that their viewpoint is the correct one and there is nothing to argue about. All that your protagonists were doing was asserting that THEY WERE RIGHT! They were of course implying that you are wrong, but you know you are right; so do not worry about it!
Now please note that I have not suggested you add, I am wrong, in other words you do not say, You are right of course and I am wrong or a simple statement ‘I am wrong. You do not have to tell an untruth, for that is what you would be doing by saying I am wrong. You, like the other person is entitled to your own rightness! Really duplicating the above, is a major leap in understanding, not only of others, but also of yourself and life in general, for that hypothetical plaque, not only represents a particular subject, but each and every subject you care to name, in other words life itself. Many years ago, whilst lecturing on Viewpoints, I commenced using the phrase, ‘the only truth is what is true for you’ in other words, ‘if it is true for you then that is the truth’ but further enlightenment has since shown me that although from a pragmatic point of view the phrase is correct, truth goes much deeper than that. This is easily demonstrated by having those four individuals remove those hypothetical glasses, to reveal that the plaque is white after all. They will certainly not argue now as to its colour! This raises a very important concept, Truth, is what it is...... not what you think it is or as a friend of mine once said, ...not what you would like it to be.
Ultimate and absolute truth lies in the spiritual universe and is the pot of gold at the foot of the rainbow.
If you wish to know more about Mace Method or want to handle any aspect of yourself that you do not like, contact me using the information below.
Kallie Miller, RN, Certified Mace Method Practitioner and Trainer
Telephone 1-519-471-6234 in London, Ontario, Canada, Eastern Time Zone